Monday, November 24, 2008

You smell like a zoo!

I have Gift Guide showcase spots booked tomorrow and Wednesday for my Etsy; I'm hoping to get some action. Wish me luck.

I've been drinking these Fizz Its in hopes that it will encourage my body to get rid of this lung plague. THEY ARE WEIRD.

Today is Jason's birthday- yep, he's still old- so everybody wish him a happy one! Jason, I love you even if you're getting rickety.

This week is Jason's birthday, Thanksgiving, and our anniversary, so we have a lot going on. We're doing it up right with a party in celebration this Saturday. I'm pretty sure we'll be exhausted by then. But, hey, that just means we'll get drunk faster. Which means we can get in bed earlier.

Old, old, old.

Friday, November 21, 2008

Headache- check. Plague- check. Sheer panic- check.

You remember all my whining about "ob la di", about how something is ALWAYS happening?

When I got out out to my car last night, the battery was dead. THE BATTERY WAS DEAD, I TELL YOU. Jason came up and jumped me off, but it wouldn't hold a charge, so we had to borrow money to buy a new battery and get it in there and working asap so's we could both go to work today.

AND THEN, this morning, my NEW phone crashed. I spent my lunch hour speeding from one end of town to the other and back again for it to suddenly start working again while I was standing in the phone store, and for them to be like, "Well, let's just give it a couple of days. It might be fine now."

Then my boss is out sick today so I'm doing both our jobs AND IT'S SCARY. I'M SCARED.

This all gives a whole new meaning to that line in Almost Famous, "It's all happening!"

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Sometimes it seems like things never stop happening, never slow down, never stay good for very long. Nothing catastrophic is happening, and I am thankful that we're all (relatively) healthy and happy and warm and dry and all that.

But sometimes I wish we could have a couple of weeks of calm, of placid waters, of little to no disturbance.

Reed and I both have walking pneumonia. When my doctor did a chest x-ray he said that it had "infiltrated" my lungs "severely". What that means is I feel like doody. He said it could take as long as four weeks for me to get well. FUCK THAT. I was like, "HAHA. I would like to be well this afternoon, please."

Luckily I have a job where I can sit at my desk and do my work quietly and drink hot chocolate. With only a tiny splash of bourbon. IT'S FOR MEDICAL PURPOSES, CALM DOWN.

You probably are aware that I've had some phone issues and then I bought a new phone last weekend. Well, my new phone "crashed". LUCK, PEOPLE. IF YOU DON'T HAVE ANY, GO BUY SOME AT TARGET.

Of course I've already spoken with my carrier and I can exchange the phone for one that works, it's just the damn principle, the CIRCUMSTANCIAL BULLSHIT that brings these kinds of things about. It took me a long time to re-enter everyone's phone numbers into this phone, to set up all my accounts and get everything aligned correctly. Now I have to start over, and I'm whining about it.

Anyway, ob la di and all that. More later from my contagious, infected self. If you're coming to my house, bring a mask and some Clorox wipes.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Breaking news from ET Online.

From this article:

Sources tell ET that last Thursday, Cloris was in the car with her son George, heading home from the 15th Annual Lint Roller Party for animals that they had attended. She turned to him and said she wasn't feeling very well. Cloris, who is 82, had recently been had a cold and had been having trouble breathing, so he took her to the hospital, and they went to the emergency room.

Okay, first, the 15th Annual Lint Roller Party? Somebody explain this to me. I know I could Google it, but this is more fun.

Second, she had recently been had a cold? Do these sites really have no copy editors, or grammar checkers, or PEOPLE WHO KNOW THE ENGLISH?

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

I brought my iPod to work today, along with some earbuds.

Today's playlist, in the order listened:

Ben Folds, Rockin' the Suburbs
Favorites: Annie Waits, Gone

Weezer, Pinkerton
Favorites: Good Life, Tired of Sex, Butterfly

Vandals, Hitler Bad, Vandals Good
Favorites: I know, huh?, Money's Not An Issue, I've Got An Ape Drape

Strokes, Is This It
Favorites: Someday, Alone Together

Spoon, Mix CD
Favorites: I Turn My Camera On, I Summon You, Was It You?

Rufus Wainwright, Poses
Favorites: Greek Song, California, Grey Gardens

Pixies, Doolittle
Favorites: Here Comes Your Man (I can't help myself), Mr. Grieves, Hey

Monday, November 17, 2008

So if last night's post made no sense to you, that's probably fine. Basically I had to argue with a collector about how much I could afford to start paying on a debt and she kept throwing all these different numbers at me even AFTER I had agreed to start making payments at a certain amount until I started getting really dizzy and had to pass Jason the phone. All this was the result of the fact that the screen on my old cellphone stopped working which led me to answer the phone when a collector called, GAH I would never answer the phone for a collector otherwise, you all know me better than that.

Now I have a new phone and can resume screening.

The best part of the collector debaucle was once I agreed to start making payments, she was like, "Okay, now you'll have to pay a $5 fee for each one of these electronic debits." I was like, "Um, can I just mail you checks for these payments?" She said, "Blahblahblahprettymuchno." So I was like, "Okay, I am NOT going to pay you to pay you." I realize that it's only five dollars, but there have been many times over the last several months when I would have sold Ida to a Chinese restaurent for five dollars because I needed the money so badly; I am not going to pay a collection agency five dollars so that I can pay off a debt that is TWICE what the actual debt used to be, with that extra 100% being fees and fines that will go to THAT DEBT COLLECTING INSTITUTION.

I don't know if I'm being clear; suffice it to say that when I said HELL NO I WON'T PAY YOUR $5, that's when the conversation started to decline and I started to have trouble seeing straight and understanding what she was saying.

So anyways, I saved a whole $20 on that one THANK THE GOOD LORD.

Next week I'm taking on the mortgage company, so just look out.

Sunday, November 16, 2008

I now have a new phone, so feel free to call and text.

The screen on my old phone stopped woorking a few days ago which resulted in my bawling like a baby today after trying to deal with a bill collector for about twenty minutes. When I started to feel like I was going to pass out I handed my headset- the only way my phone was working- to Jason.

Then I went out and bought a phone.

Friday, November 14, 2008

On my life.

How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?


Thursday, November 13, 2008

He named his pirate Captain America.

So we are only a few weeks away from Jason's birthday, our anniversary, and Reed's birthday. Oh, plus Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year's Eve. It's my busy season.

I'm feeling slightly more optimistic because at least I'll be able to buy people some presents, however small.

Reed is experiencing his last throws of toddlerhood, I can tell, because the fits have gotten few and far between but also about 782 times more intense, sudden, and unpredictable.

He actually threw himself onto the floor in Target, plenty of people looking on, because I "wouldn't" let him "pay" for his pirate ship. What ACTUALLY happened was he threw himself into the floor, I stood there cheerfully saying, "Now hop up so you can pay for your shippit!" and he screamed and writhed, totally ignoring me. (He was calling his pirate ship his "shippit". I don't know.) I looked at the cashier, smiled, and stepped over my child who was rolling on the floor of a public place, wiping his face on the floor because he knew that I'd have nightmares about it for weeks- he's a smart little dude, after all. Then my mom and I drug him out into the parking lot, forced him into the car, and sat and let him shriek and cry for about five minutes.

After a few minutes of that, he suddenly and without warning smiled, asked me politely to take his shippit out of the box, and after I handed it to him he giggled and played quietly with it until we got to Cracker Barrel.

This life is so bizarre, so crazy, that sometimes I totally skip writing about some of it because I know that it sounds made up.

Monday, November 10, 2008


So I've been able to spend plenty of time updating my Amazon wishlist- my boss frequently deems it "break time", in which we wander about the internet. But all the stuff I do on the internet is blocked here, so I find myself looking at all the interesting stuff on Amazon. I've found a good flash drive, some nice presents for Reed, some rings I like, clothes, pants, etc. etc. ETC.

Have you ever heard of the Kindle? I want one. I've been doing an amazing amount of reading over the past few months, so I feel like I would actually get lots and lots of use out of it.

Of course, no one has to remind me how broke I am right now and therefore unable to buy food, much less a $359 wireless reading device, when I can check books out from the liberry for free.

Speaking of books, has anyone else been reading this Twilight series? I realize that I am, like, the LAST person to get on this train, but holy jeez, are they good. I finished Twilight in 24 hours, and then I finished New Moon in 48 hours. I am anxiously awaiting the arrival of the third book at the Leeds Library.

Also, my cell phone suddenly stopped working. This isn't a billing issue; something is actually wrong with my phone. I can send and recieve texts but not phone calls. Scratch that: I can make and recieve phone calls, but I can't hear whoever is on the other end. So Jason or my dad or whoever I'm calling knows I'm calling, but when they answer I can't hear them at all. I think it must be the mouthpiece/speaker/whatever it's called that's messed up.

This is a big deal to me since we no longer have a landline at our house. I realize that I can still call 911, but it still gives me the creeps to have no way of making phonecalls when I'm home or in the car without Jason. So y'all text me every now and then to make sure I'm alive, okay?

Friday, November 07, 2008

And also...

Originally uploaded by jason agan
The best thing I've ever done.
Well, it's definitely been an interesting week. Between my job, the election, our money situation, and about a hundred other things, I'm beat. And kind of dizzy. And a little parched.

Wednesday, November 05, 2008

Oh man, am I tired today.

My job will be sending me to San Antonio before the year is out. This means I'll be flying for the very first time pretty soon. I told my boss, "You know I might get a little keyed up because I've never flown before." He said, "Well have you ever taken a klonopin before?"

Tuesday, November 04, 2008

Rocking the vote this afternoon, then watching the coverage with friends this evening. Good stuff; looking forward, for a change.

I am floored lately by my closest friends' abilities to simultaneously take care of me and put up with me.

Regarding my new job, it's comforting in an I-can-do-this, not-interesting-enough-to-be-scary, for-the-love-of-God-I'll-get-a-paycheck kind of way.

Reed was a cow for Halloween; pictures to come.