Tuesday, December 11, 2007

This blog is my barf bag.

Yes, so the barbarians are knocking at the gates, so to speak, once again. It seems that we can get caught up financially and then things go to shit all over again, like a never-ending roller coaster. Right now we are more behind on our mortgage payment than we've ever been before, and we're moderately behind on everything else.

At this point I'm at a loss, because Jason and I are both just worn totally out all the time from working and attempting to keep up with the three kids. I've applied for lots and lots of other jobs in hopes of finding something that pays better, or is closer to home, or is just BETTER in some way, but to no avail. The phone rings constantly with 800-numbers and "private name, private number" on the caller i.d., and we just don't answer. We are those people now, screeners. And since Mary has decided quite suddenly that she doesn't have to give us any money any more (to help out with Kane and Jude), we are having trouble paying for their lunch money, field trips, school supplies.

I think that's somewhere in the top three most irritating things, that a woman who is driving a new Miata and whose new husband is driving a new Jeep and who just moved into a new townhouse in Vestavia and who doesn't have to work since the government pays her to stay home and smoke cigarettes and not answer when her kids call says to us, "I will not help you pay for their school supplies." It makes me feel like I'm going to throw up to think about it.

Jude randomly had $25 when he came home from his great aunt's house that his grandmother gave him, and we had to talk him into using it to pay for two of his field trips because the deadline was here and our bank account is in the negative for the second week in a row.

My mom has gotten into the habit of just handing me her check card and letting me keep it for days at a time.

My father won't look me in the eye, and tries to stay off the subject of money or finances or bills when he's around me.

My boss has implied that when my kid is sick, it shouldn't keep me from coming to work because don't I have a HOUSEKEEPER or "some other option" than staying home with him?

NO. FUCK NO. FUCK NO TO EVERYBODY. I love when I'm talking to a collector and they say "Are you aware that your [whatever] account is past due?" I say yes. "Why is it past due?" "Because I don't have any money."

I can hear the blinking and the crickets and the question marks above heads on the other end of the line.

SOME PEOPLE DON'T HAVE MONEY, FUCKERS. I'm a little tense today. I'm on the verge of my lady time of the month, but it's two weeks late so I think the PMS has just built up and built up until I'm marinating in it.

My mother had to buy her 28-year-old daughter a pregnancy test. It was negative. Which doesn't surprise me, because everything is negative these days.


Lindsey said...

My mom had to buy me a pregnancy test back in May, so I wasn't 28 yet, but close enough. AND! that was after Josh, you know, LOST HIS FUCKIN' MIND, so I was single and potentially knocked up by a complete asshole who had managed to strand himself in Orlando, all in the search of greener puss..er...pastures. So, you know. It could be worse. I mean, for the love of pete, it could be A WHOLE FUCKIN' LOT BETTER, but it could def. be worse.

I'm keeping my fingers and toes crossed for you, and an ear out for any potential job openings.


Anonymous said...

Jesus, Buffy! I never get the details until I read your blog. If there's anything I can do--even just to be a super fun sounding board (is that the word?)...Well, you know.

I love you and will see you soon.


PS I am willing to be a vomit repository as well!

Thom said...

I think I am best helpful on the job front as I recently (in the last 7 months) was actively looking for better employment.

Three things helped me out a lot: 1) Friends and family. They scrutinized my resume like crazy noticing every punctuation error. 2) The Internet. I found many jobs and job seeking advice (it's free advice, so beware). 3) The book "Knock 'em Dead". I give this book most of the credit for me finding the job I have.

Best of luck

Anonymous said...

geez. it really sucks being broke and feeling like it's a never ending downward spiral. But there is an end, i assure you, and it will come, one way or another. (i'm not sure if that comment will make you feel better, but i hope it does) and just remember, two negatives equal a positive. So there. And things have a way of working themselves out. Keep your chin up.

Some jerk said...

Umm...two negatives equal a positive only if they are multiplied or divided. If the problems are additive and not exponential then it just continues to be more negative.

Buffy, here's hoping that your problems are raised to a power of 4 or some other even number.

P.S.- You don't have a housekeeper?!? I thought everyone had at least one personal indentured servant.

P.P.S.- You could earn some extra cash if you filmed kat being a vomit repository. Some people are into that kind of thing.

P.P.P.S.- What do all the additional P's actually mean?

buffy said...

hey jerkface: the additional p's are for "post", as in "post script", or "post post post post script".

i think.

watch some other jerkface stop by and be all "NO, that's WRONG!"

some jerk said...

Ahem... it's simply "some jerk" not jerkface.

BTW...next time you think you are going off the deep end get some perspective.
look up "time cube" on the internet.
You will see what going off the deep end really is.