Cleaning out my text messages.

- Who shit on this carpet?

- I wasn't prepared to set up a velvet rope at your funeral.

- Lord, the end is near. I just caught myself singing Nickelback. I hate myself.

- I just googled how to tell the difference between gray and blonde hair. It's harder than you think and google is USELESS.

- I just "fixed" my Uggs. Most I've done all day outside of karaoke.

- I totally wouldn't kick trainer Bob outta bed... but I don't have a penis so I don't think he'd be into it.

- I've never wanted to get someone, besides me, laid more in my life.

- Man, I just wanna chain smoke and drink beers. Merry Christmas.

- I got a feeling he works on a dairy farm.

- The fact that in that diagram the anus was represented by the green light = DIAGRAM FAIL.

- Dude, I just bought a puffy silver vest for $3 THANK GOD I'VE NEEDED ONE FOR SO LONG.

- The girl to your left is a hot-ass mess.

- Wet, slide, thighs, shaft, quivering. These are your sexting words!

- I'm on my knees in the dirt at work, and I'm slipping in vomit when I play. Why would I buy $100 jeans?

- I'm at Walmart and the car parked in front of me has 10- TEN- air fresheners hanging on the rear view.

- There's a black man! Yay! Leeds ain't racist!

- No on likes a butt munch!

- Jason is sitting here looking up and watching Lady Gaga videos on Youtube. Hello, apocalypse.

- My mom's playing her Hall and Oates Christmas album. Fuck yeah, Merry Christmas!

- Whatever. If you wanna dance me off, I'll serve you.

- I love that Chris' shorts are the deciding factor.

- My kid just punched me in the stomach even after I told him I'm not feeling well. NEVER UNDERESTIMATE THE IMPORTANCE OF BIRTH CONTROL.

- Now it's watery pickle poop in his pants.

- Wa-oh. I am wearing a lot of make-up.

- You need to send me dirty texts.

Lindsey sent this to me, and I love it.

My favorite part is "Imagine ten thousand flies simultaneously grabbing you."

The other night Jason asked if I had any new blog posts coming up, and all I could think was, "..."

Life for me has been a mindless routine lately, a lot of Get up, Get Reed to school, Clean kitchen, Do laundry, Apply for jobs, Dinner, Get Reed ready for bed, Mess around for a while, Go to bed.

I've been unemployed for just over 4 months now, I've applied for lots and lots of jobs in lots of different fields, and I haven't had a single interview.

Today I'm feeling just a bit discouraged and pessimistic. It's dramatic to say, but I've been constantly haunted lately by decisions, bad and good, mine and those of others, and how they've changed our lives in the past couple of years. I'm having a lot of nightmares, not sleeping well, feeling anxious and pukey, stuck, impotent. The logical part of me knows that things will change, get better, but there's still a tiny part of me that just can't see out of this right now.

Anyway, there's my magical post for today. We're headed to Mobile to photograph a wedding at the end of this month, and I'm looking forward to getting out of town for a couple of days. Perhaps I'll be able to clear my head a bit then.