Wednesday, August 22, 2007

"I'm sorry; I know that's a strange way to tell you that I know we belong."

So today an older couple died here in Birmingham. They were both in their nineties; the wife had been sick for a while, and she passed away this morning. Her family was in the living room a couple of hours later, crying and being together, and they looked over at the husband, and he had passed away in his chair.

And it's exactly like those Ben Folds lyrics, and it makes me feel like a tiny speck, like the tiniest speck on this earth, and like I might just get washed away in an instant in all the DAMN emotion. Just hearing the story today humbled me, made me feel in awe of this life and what it's made of, or made from, or made by.

And that is all the product of this gigantic wave of hormones that I'm riding at this particular time of the month, if you get me, that's making me question everything in my life- if I'm a good mother, if I'm a good wife, if I deserve any of this, if I'll ever be more, or less.

Anyone looking for a ROLICKING good time right at this moment should call ME, let me tell you.


Lindsey said...

The thing is, most kids look back on their parents and would list them the people they admire most, you know? Even the people who had complete fuck ups for parents, they always thank God for them. So just imagine what the boys will do for you and Jason when they get older and realize what could have been and what actually was. They'll be too busy polishing the pigeon shit off your statues to get into too much trouble.

Viktor Frankl, "Man's Search for Meaning" said...

"When a man finds that it is his destiny to suffer, he will have to accept his suffering as his task; his single and unique task. He will have to acknowledge the fact that even in suffering he is unique and alone in the universe. No one can relieve him of his suffering or suffer in his place. His unique opportunity lies in the way in which he bears his burden."

Anonymous said...

Yo, who posted that little ray of sunshine from Viktor Frankl? Viktor himself? Glad I'm not a man.

Anonymous said...

Buffy, that is why I miss you so much.

PS The last line of the quote makes it rather pretty. Makes us seem noble somehow.

PPS I REALLY miss ya'll. Adjusting to, well--life, I guess is not so fun, especially when you have to read a lot of decedents' estates!


Lindsey said...

"Decedents' estates" -- that's so hot. ;)

Anonymous said...

it is humbling. it makes me remember what life is for- what it should be for, anyway-- love. Love should be the breath in your lungs. how poignant.