Friday, September 22, 2006

And you know what they say about men with big feet- they wear big shoes.

My husband has big feet. Seriously, Jason's feet are huge. Big. Very big feet. And while this has some obvious perks for me, his wife, it is a ROYAL PAIN IN MY ASS to find shoes for him.

Most of my shoes come from two places: Target (i.e., the holy land and my second home) or Payless (i.e., a place I try not to go because there are so many things that make me shit with glee). So, most of my shoes cost under $20. I have many pairs of shoes, and I generally don't have any trouble finding shoes that fit and make me happy. Actually, my problem lies in trying NOT to find shoes that fit and make me happy.

Anyway, we honestly have trouble keeping Jason in a pair of shoes that doesn't either have holes where his toes have finally revolted against the tyranny of the uncomfortable, restrictive, positively FASCIST vinyl or otherwise cheap fabric and escaped, or that aren't so terribly uncomfortable that Jason is FORCED by a will normally unknown to him to talk, at great length, loudly and constantly, about how tired and sore and utterly abused his poor tootsies are.

How's THAT for a run-on sentence?!?

SO, I've been spending a lot of time on eBay lately, checking out shoes in the Men's Size 15 (jealous, ladies?) section, and I have to say, there are some interesting finds on there.

I'm so tempted to just go for it and buy some of these wacky shoes, in hopes that I could talk Jason into wearing them. The whole point is that, while we could go out and pay $75 to $100 in town somewhere on a nice pair of New Balance or Nike or whatever, I just can't surrender the fantasy that maybe I'll stumble onto something FANTASTIC for about $1.47 one day.

So I continue to look. And I am constantly amused at my finds, and even more amused imagining Jason walking around in some of these things.

I went through an odd phase that lasted about 17 years in which I was very worried that my feet looked big. I can't possibly explain it to you if you've never endured these feelings personally, but I was just obsessed with the fear that my feet were big, huge boats, and that people were snickering behind my back about my large, oddly proportioned feet. During this time, I was horrified and repelled by shoes that made my feet look any bigger than they actually were (such as Converse, or those little Sam-n-Libby shoes with the bows on them that were so in for quite some time). I haven't had these feelings in quite some time, but I am reminded of them as I look at some of these shoes.

I am getting ready to give up and just spend the hundred bucks, already, because this process is giving me hives.

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