Monday, April 07, 2008

When Kane watches the show, I spontaneously develop a nervous tick.

Tonight I am battling with all my strength a serious headache and aching, burning ribs that shout WHY? WHY WOULD YOU MOVE WHEN YOU COULD JUST GET ON THE FLOOR AND LIE THERE?

I have just one anecdote for you. This evening I was cooking myself a quesadilla while Kane, Jude, and Reed sat at our kitchen table and ate theirs. Reed was, for the love of all that expects me to survive this month without taking a spatula and beating my face with it until I pass out or go blind, sitting quietly, eating, and nodding his head at everything that Kane and Jude were saying.

Then Kane says, "Jude I put our [I will never remember the name of this Pokemon dinosaur thingy that they have on some game on the internet] in daycare." Jude, bless his heart, actually froze, put his hand flat over his chest, and said, "MY [Pokemon dinosaur thingy]? WHY?" Kane thoughtfully replied, "Well, he has to grow and learn and socialize. When we check on him tomorrow, I bet he'll have metamorphosed into a [the next metamorphosis* of this Pokemon dinosaur thingy]. Jude took a deep breath and was like, "Mm, okay. I hope he's alright."

And I realized, THEY WERE ME AND JASON. They were such proud, thoughtful, caring and concerned parents right in that moment.

And then Reed dipped his quesadilla in his orange juice and ate it, and Kane and Jude proceeded to moan and convulse and gag.

* Did you know that they metamorph? I knew that, on account of I played Pokemon, the card game, for quite some time several years ago. I actually had hundreds of Pokemon cards organized into these long, cardboard boxes, and I had a killer deck that was pretty hard to beat. LOADS of things I haven't gotten to on this blog yet.


Lindsey said...

It's 8:30 am and I'm pretending to work, but really, I'm sitting at my desk, streaming "Morning Edition" off the NPR website and eating Girl Scout cookies and generally avoiding a deadline I have beating me about the head and shoulders and this made me bark with laughter and everybody in the office go quiet for a moment, so I think they're on to me and I'm pretty sure it's your fault.


Anonymous said...

I had no clue you played Pokemon! This makes me even fonder of you, which proves that, in the immortal words of Huey Lewis, it really is hip to be square.
The Pokemon baby is far better than the baby that is currently metamorph-ing in Kane's classmate's belly.

Anonymous said...

Umm...I think Huey was referring to wearing polo shirts, suits, and having short haircuts. Square people do not battle imaginary creatures via playing cards. Maybe squares play blackjack or go fish, depending on their level of squareness, but Pokemon is definitely a disproportioned polygon thing.


Anonymous said...

its actually called evolving. metamorphosis is what happens to me when you go on shopping sprees with the rent money.