Okay, really, I just have to say something. I don't know if any of you keep up with my little section over there called "Search Engine Terms That Bring People Here", and I don't know if you understand what that means or how it works. Here's a short explanation from a person who is pretty much a tech-dumby (me): let's say you go to Google and search for Etsy, and the first link that comes up is Etsy and you click on it and it takes you to Etsy. Okay, let's say you type in something less specific, like "boot cut jeans". After a few sponsored links, there's a link to an article on Wikipedia called "jeans" and then a link to the Levi's website, etc. etc. etc.

Well, apparently if you search "sexy old ladies" or "porn appendectomy" or "flu sex", one of the links in the list that comes up is to this blog, this one right here, and someone somewhere has actually searched these terms and ended up at my blog.

So I'm looking through this morning for anything new or interesting that all you FUCKED UP weirdos have been looking for on the World Wide Web, and someone is looking for "sexy douche pictures". And, you know, I figured I'd help a brotha out (It has to be a dude, right?).

Looking for a sexy douche can be a tricky, tricky thing.

Perhaps you're looking for the douche who might need help turning door-knobs:



Or maybe a gap-toothed douche:



Black douche:



A couple of white douchi:



Many, many douchi:



A very rich douche:



An inexperienced, future-rich douche:



Two of the stupidest douchi you've ever seen:



A couple of ironic douchi:



No really:



And then of course there is the reigning Doucho Supremo:



Sexy douche pictures: you're welcome. I like to be helpful.

Tada!

So my mom is a genius who says things like, "But can't you just make some of your blog private, and still leave some of it for people to see?"

GENIUS.

So now I'm back. I hope all you people are still looking- Thom! Hey, buddy! Birdie! Jerkface, how I have missed you. Seriously, I got my ways of knowing who is looking at this blog, and there are people ALL OVER who look at it on a daily basis, people from several of my former employers, and that just interests the shit out of me. I have honestly been really sad all this time that all these people are taking the time to read my whining and then I had to go and take it all away. So I'm back. I am just limited in what I will and will not write about. So we'll see how this all goes.

I just want to say for the hundredth time that I love you guys. I hope y'all are still looking, and haven't given up on me yet.

Today I did something fun.

I donated a whole lot of hair to Locks of Love.



Here I am before I left this morning (with wet hair):



And here I am now (after much sweating and kid-wrangling):



Tomorrow I will style it and take more pictures.