"Who says I can't get stoned; pick my nose in my house alone."

So, then, here I am at my mom's house. We're about half-way moved in, and everything is hectic and mixed up and every time we need something- clean underwear, socks, toothbrush- we have to figure out if it's here or there.

This is the part I hate about moving: moving.

What's cool about moving in here is that my mom has internet. INTERNET! How I've missed you. It's been right about one year since we lost internet at our house; one year since I've been able to roll out of bed and check my email, or read my favorite blogs, or job search, or write something new here. I'm looking forward to being able to do that again.

Plus, you know, PORN. Gotta love the porn.

Okay, I've got Jason dancing around in his underwear singing John Mayer right now. I've gotta go.

"Things that we learn are no longer enough."

Hoo, boy, I don't even know where to start. Not that much exciting has been happening anyway, so there probably isn't actually even that much to say.

Life has been weird, difficult, trying, unpredictable.

So, you know, pretty much like any other time in my life.

I keep thinking of ways to make things better, steps to take, and I can't seem to muster any motivation when it counts. I'm having a lot, A LOT, of trouble getting things done, finding the persistence to work on my life.

I've been reading a lot, watching movies, the usual modes of procrastination. I've also been using a lot of energy just to get through each day without whacking myself in the face with a hammer, whac-a-mole style.

Again, like any other day.

I really hope I can get things going again on this blog soon. I am really very proud of a lot of the things I've written here, and I don't want to let it go by the wayside. It's been suggested to me recently that this blog has caused me so much trouble that I ought to just take the whole thing down, and that idea made me so sad, really really depressed, so I think I'm going to stick with it a while longer and see what happens. Selfish, maybe; it's just that it has really meant a lot to me, really gotten me through a lot of things to be able to document them here. I enjoy getting it out, working things out in type, and I love and appreciate everyone's comments, advice, encouragement.

There have been times when this blog has been all that has gotten me through the day. I'm just not willing to toss it out yet. Thanks to those of you who are sticking with it with me. I love y'all.

I don't have the energy to title.

Okay, I'm very sorry I haven't written much here lately. We still don't have internet at the house, so it's kind of difficult for me to get around to writing these days.

I've applied for unemployment, so hopefully that will come through in the next couple of weeks. Hell, hopefully I'll get a job. But I try not to dream too big.

If I'm going to be totally honest, I have to tell you that life has been hell this past couple of weeks. Really, life has been hell for this last couple of years. But hey, tomato, tomahto.

I can't go into too much, but I fear that we won't be seeing Kane and Jude for a while. It's really sad, because regardless of how much I miss them, miss seeing them and hearing how their lives are going, Jason misses the hell out of them, and I can't even tell you how frequently Reed asks where they are, when they're coming back, when he'll see them again. Right now we haven't seen them in about a month, and they haven't stayed at our house in about six weeks. I've written here on more than one occasion how much Reed loves them, how I worry, how much I love them.

I guess I should say again how much I really, really love them, have always loved them, have always tried my best to be there for them, take care of them, and provide them with a safe and happy place to call home.

This coming Monday is the third birthday of this blog. HAPPY FREAKING BIRTHDAY, VELVETEEN INDIAN. Maybe one day I'll be real.

"I am a pig-eyed horse-frightener with an electronic part. Hear me sit down."

This had me laughing out loud at work.

Also...

Today is my mom's birthday.

Tomorrow is Leonard Peltier's parole hearing.

And today through Wednesday Kristi and Chris are taking the bar exam.



Let's think some good thoughts, people!

On Crocs. Of shits.

Okay, so, wait just a minute: has anybody else out there seen this website? It's hilarious! Here are a few of my favorite excerpts:

This is more than a fad and if you would be smart enough to try a pair on you would also understand why smart people were Crocs. Were do people like you have time for creating such stupid websites.

fuck u u fuckin blowjob. i from Korea and i wear crocs. crocs cool!

Nice blog you FUCKIN STUPID ASS DIPSHIT!!!
GET A FUCKIN LIFE!!!
My entire family wheres Crocs. They fuckin rock!
YOU FUCKIN SUCK SHIT!!! WHO GIVES A SHIT ASS FUCK ABOUT FASHION YOU FUCK!!!
FUCK YOUR FUCKIN BLOG!!! FUCK FUCKIN YOU!!!

And let me be clear: I like Crocs. I own two pairs of them. When I worked at the flower shop and had to be on my feet all day long and had to run back and forth and carry 35 pound buckets of water and foliage and the floors were slippery and it was hot in the summer and I didn't want to wear tennis shoes, these were GREAT. I wore them with socks in the winter. I loved them. My feet almost never hurt, and when they did it was only mildly.

But they are some of the GOOFIEST shoes I have ever seen, hands-down, just ridiculous. JUST RIDICULOUS.

Hilariosity.

From this article on this website:

Cats are dangerous in numerous ways: they have sharp claws and teeth; they can navigate in the dark using a complex navigation system embedded in their heads called “whiskers,” thus giving them an advantage during blackouts; and the only flesh they enjoy more than pig is newborn babies. So you make your choice. Will it be Mr. Jangles, or your precious, precious baby?

City Stages.

Lindsey and I will be covering City Stages for al.com this weekend, and I'm very excited about it- Lindsey does write-ups and video, and I do photographs and severe inebriation.

I am particularly excited about the Indigo Girls, Jonny Lang, Guster, and the Pine Hill Haints.

Here's to being ridiculously sweaty and being tossed about by thousands of people!

100 Things.

In honor of this, my 500th post. (Not all 500 are up for your viewing pleasure; I took several down a few months ago for personal reasons. Just trust me when I say there are 500 of them.)

1. My parents couldn't decide on a name; my dad liked conservative stuff and my mom liked less common, hippy stuff. They settled on naming me Elizabeth but calling me Buffy.

2. I have never been called anything but Buffy.

3. This has caused a lot of problems at doctor's offices and pharmacies.

4. I never met my maternal grandfather, since he died before I was born.

5. When I was very little, I told my mom and my aunt that I missed my grandfather whom I'd never met.

6. When I was little I stayed with my maternal grandma whenever my mom had to run errands.

7. My grandma and I would play board games, like Parcheesi and Sorry, and watch soap operas.

8. My mom was a stay-at-home mom until I was a teenager.

9. I have always wanted to be a stay-at-home mom.

10. My dad and I can't seem to understand each other.

11. My sister and I were very close when we were growing up.

12. We aren't so close now.

13. My sister is 5'9 and weighs 108 pounds.

14. I have a half-sister and a half-brother who live in Tennessee.

15. The person I refer to as "my sister", India, is really a half-sister as well, but we grew up together so we've never really recognized the "half".

16. I have always said I wanted to have three children, all boys.

17. I have two step-sons, Kane and Jude, and one son, Reed. GO AHEAD AND LAUGH GOD SINCE YOU GAVE ME WHAT I WANTED.

18. I sometimes worry about what kind of person I must be considering what kind of person Jason's last wife is.

19. My earliest memories are of sitting in my window in our house in Centerville, and my mom telling me that if I listened hard enough, I could hear God talking to me.

20. It is a happy memory for me.

21. I also remember sitting in our dirt driveway with my mom, digging doodlebug holes and singing for the doodlebugs to come out.

22. I thought going to college would guarantee a decent job and few money problems.

23. I was wrong.

24. I am wrong a lot.

25. I am surrounded by people who aren't afraid to stick by me even though I am wrong so much.

26. I am right a lot more often than I let myself admit.

27. I worry all the time about us having let Kane and Jude move back in with their mother.

28. I have some very deep and intense feelings of resentment and pain that I can't seem to let go of.

29. Jason astounds me all the time with his wit, intelligence, compassion, and humility.

30. I hope one day I can have all those traits.

31. I have a degree in Philosophy. I really like to talk shit.

32. My favorite animal is a possum.

33. When I was little my mom called me Possum Pie.

34. I have been to New Orleans seven times, and every single time I have felt like I was finally home.

35. I wish that I had the balls to move away, but I would be so sad because I really don't think I want to move.

36. I like my job.

37. This is the first job I've ever had in which I've felt respected and appreciated.

38. I love Coca Cola.

39. I love cheap beer.

40. One of my favorite things to do is sit on my front porch and drink a beer with Jason and my friends.

41. Jason and I have worked very hard to make our marriage work.

42. Jason is my best friend.

43. I also have girlfriends including my mom who are my best friends too.

44. I believe in Jesus. I think he loves us.

45. I try very hard to be the sort of person Jesus would want me to be.

46. I do not always succeed.

47. I try very hard not to pass judgement on other people.

48. Unless they're wearing something really stupid.

49. I get my feelings hurt pretty easily.

50. That is something I am striving to change.

51. My friends/family/whomever can make mistakes and know that I will not judge and my love for them won't change.

52. I was born in Shreveport, Louisiana.

53. I know that two spaces are supposed to go after a period when you're typing.

54. I make really good brownies.

55. I can't think about, talk about, or watch gross stuff while I eat, because then I can't stop thinking that whatever is in my mouth is whatever gross thing I've just thought about, talked about, or watched (bugs, snakes, surgery grossness on tv, etc.). The only other person I know who has this problem is Lindsey. We weird.

56. Some trends that I initially disdained but now like include skinny jeans, slouchy boots, and pointy-toed shoes.

57. I have never liked Burger King.

58. I am bad with money.

59. I am a youngest sibling.

60. I am currently reading Nelson Mandela's autobiography, Heather Armstrong's most recent book, and a parenting book.

61. I got in trouble when I was a kid for stealing an arrowhead from my 4th grade teacher.

62. I totally freeze up in the presence of famous people. I just can't act like a normal human.

63. That probably applies to life in general, not just being around famous people.

64. I had a pretty easy pregnancy.

65. During my pregnancy those Mastercard commercials with the lost dog would come on and I would cry my eyeballs out.

66. I also frequently literally laughed until I cried; I mean I would laugh and then immediately start crying. Pregnancy hormones: scary as fuck.

67. I loved being pregnant, and if Jason and I could afford another baby I would totally want one.

68. I would have to trick Jason into it, as he's already said, "FUCK, BUFFY, I have three kids. That's enough."

69. My cousin is Caitlin Kiernan.

70. If I didn't have to worry about working, I would stay up late and sleep late every day.

71. I can eat box after box of wintergreen Tic Tacs.

72. I once ate an entire box of wintergreen Tic Tacs at one time.

73. I can also tell you that that means I ate exactly 40 wintergreen Tic Tacs at once.

74. I think maybe I know too much about Tic Tacs.

75. Reed is named after my great grandfather, Reed Roe Ramey. Here is more info about that.

76. I would really, really like to have a little girl in our family. (Lindsey, I really love Ava, but I wish I had one that I made.)

77. I am scared that talking on my cell phone too much is going to give me brain tumors.

78. I am sad that Reed will never again be a tiny baby who drools on my shoulder.

79. I am still glad that we are on our way to being potty trained and not throwing writhing, bucking fits on the floor.

80. I took piano lessons for 13 years.

81. I cannot write fiction for SHIT. Seriously painful.

82. When I was a kid I liked to eat the powdered cheese that comes with macaroni right out of the packet. With a spoon.

83. I was also known to eat the powdered hot chocolate mix right out of the packet.

84. I am sometimes proud of myself.

85. I am sometimes ashamed of myself.

86. My paternal grandparents are both pretty sick, and I can't bring myself to visit them.

87. Mortality, my own and that of others, scares the shit out of me.

88. This swine flu thing scared me at first. Now it seems to have dropped off the planet.

89. I voted for Barack Obama.

90. I support freeing Leonard Peltier.

91. I drink a lot of water.

92. When I was 11, my mom and I drove from Leeds, Alabama to Santa Fe, New Mexico. It took 2 1/2 days.

93. On that trip we had a flat tire. A really nice young man stopped and changed it for us and told us he had just come home from Desert Storm because his wife and baby died in a car wreck due to some problem with driving on a spare. He asked us to be careful.

94. I like the Beatles, They Might Be Giants, Ben Folds, and Deee Lite.

95. I am obsessive about washing my hands after doing things like taking out the trash, scooping out the cat litter, sweeping the house, and other general cleaning activities.

96. When I was in high school, I either wanted to grow up to be an actress, a lawyer, or a pilot for the air force.

97. I feel devastatingly uncool when I'm around hipsters.

98. I generally trust people too quickly and easily.

99. I can't stand to step on bugs.

100. I really like the book Confederacy of Dunces.

A couple of things...

My friend Lindsey writes a really neat blog for al.com, and I've been lucky enough to attend a couple of shows with her to take pictures for said blog. You should check it out.

First, here's where we went to see the Ting Tings.

Second, here's where we went to see G Love and the Special Sauce.

Mammal.

All you have to do is pick a (musical) artist and using ONLY SONG TITLES from only that artist, answer the questions below. Leave yours in the comments.

I've chosen They Might Be Giants.

1. Are you a male or female: How Can I Sing Like a Girl?

2. Describe yourself: Rabid Child

3. How do you feel about yourself: Nothing's Gonna Change My Clothes

4. Describe your parents: Someone Keeps Moving My Chair

5. Describe your ex boyfriend/girlfriends: Women & Men

6. Describe your current boy/girl situation: Birdhouse In Your Soul

7. Describe your current location: I Should Be Allowed to Think

8. Describe where you want to be: Sleeping in the Flowers

9. Your best friend(s) is/are: Wicked Little Critta

10. Your favourite colour is: Sapphire Bullets of Pure Love

11. You know that: Everything Is Catching On Fire

12. If your life was a television show what would it be called: Who's Knockin' on the Wall?

13. What is life to you: If I Wasn't Shy

14. What is the best advice you have to give: Narrow Your Eyes

YES.

From this post on this blog:

I love the heft of your warm body
your outflung hands
your curious glances
but seriously, kid.
Could you do me a solid
and hang on when I carry you?
Consider the
koala
or perhaps the
tree frog.
Both fine examples
of the methodology I would prefer
that you employ
instead of this business
that involves my left arm
falling
the
fuck
OFF.

It's like she lives inside my head, the head that resides somewhere above the stiff neck and sore shoulders of a person who is still carrying a three-and-a-half-year-old who likes to dangle like a potato sack.

Contact!

On my way to Costa Rica!

I've actually scheduled some posts to publish while I'm gone, so don't stop reading. Just know that I'm okay; I'm on a beach somewhere watching Jason and Chris trying to surf, looking fabulous with Kristi in our sweet-ass dresses that we bought to lounge on the beach and drink pina coladas in.

I hope to bring back fun souveniers and rad pictures to show you guys what cool-asses we are. In the meantime, y'all ponder ducks in long pants.

25 Things.

John tagged me to do this one on Facebook, but I can only do Facebook on my phone, so I deemed it too annoying to work on except to do it here. There's your explanation.

1. I am afraid of the dark. I have always been afraid of the dark. I frequently think I see things or hear things when the lights are out. If Jason isn't in bed yet, I don't turn the light out.

2. I am terrified of ending up alone. I imagine that one day Jason will leave me, and all my friends will be gone by then because I'm so annoying/unfunny/needy/crazy/bitchy/Mexicanfoody/drinky.

3. I eat a lot of Mexican food. What's startling is that I crave Mexican food for pretty much every meal. I dream about cheese dip and a nice taco salad with jalapenos. Jason likes Mexican food okay, but he also has a sensitive stomach so Mexican can mean some interesting bathroom experiences for him for a couple of days afterwards. Still, he'll eat Mexican food with me almost any time I ask. Now we have a child that when I pick him up from daycare will BEG AND PLEAD, "Can't we PLEEEEEEEEEASE go to the messican restaurant?" The staff at the local place knows his name. They also know my voice when I call to order take-out.

4. I have too many clothes. Seriously, I have jeans that I'm too big for AND jeans that I'm too small for. I keep both just in case I gain OR lose weight. Doc Martens that I bought nine years ago? Got 'em. 30 pairs of flip flops, tons of flats, boots that my dad bought me when I was 21: yes, yes, yes. A few things that didn't even quite fit right when I bought them but were on such a good sale and were a style that I really liked but I've still never worn them because THEY NEVER QUITE FIT RIGHT: yes. New stuff on the way: fuck me, yes.

5. I really, really don't like some of the most popular funny movies in recent history, such as Space Balls, Home Alone, Caddyshack, and all those Naked Gun movies. I'm just not usually a big fan of slapstick, goofy stuff. I say this, and yet I LOVE 40 Year Old Virgin, Bring It On, and Wedding Crashers. I don't know.

6. At work, out of about ten bathroom stalls, there is one particular stall that I always choose to go to for number two. It is not the very first one or the very last one.

7. I think perhaps I am a mediocre mom. I don't like germs, I don't like going to the park, I don't like arguing with a midget, I don't like getting kicked in the boob. I hope that what I lack in squee-ness I make up for in super-coolness and intense, loving hugs. There's one thing: I will always let Reed sit in my lap, and I am always up for a snuggle.

8. I am totally obsessed with small electronic items. When Palm first popped up I wanted one, like REALLY wanted one, thought about it all the time. Then it was the Razr, then an iPhone, then a Blackberry. Laptops, stuff for the camera, iPods, these are a few of my favorite things.

9. My most feared illness is anything that makes my stomach feel bad or, PLEASE GOD NO, makes me throw up. I don't like getting any kind of illness (of course), but I can stand a cold, can tolerate diarrhea, can muddle through aches and pains. But if my stomach feels bad or if I'm throwing up, I am a mess, a big baby, a whiny pool of KILL ME NOW that stays in bed and lies very still and covers her eyes with a cool rag and wants complete silence.

10. I really, really like sleeping, resting, and hanging around in bed. There are days in which, if I had a nanny for Reed and no job to go to, I could stay in bed all day long. What time I go to bed at night makes no difference; I can go to sleep at 9pm and still want to stay in bed until 12 or 1 the next afternoon.

11. I really love my friends. The love that I feel for my friends is exactly the same love that I feel for my family. I once had a boyfriend who got mad at me because I spent so much time with my friends, and I explained to him that the intensity and commitment that he felt about going to band practice (several times a week) was the same intensity and commitment I felt about spending time with my best friends. He claimed he understood, but I'm pretty sure that that situation played a large part in our relationship's undoing.

12. I love reading blogs. I read Dooce and Sarah and Antonia on a regular basis. I also read my friend Lindsey's pop culture blog, and my friend Paul just started a really interesting one, and my cousin and my mom. There's my friend Birdie, and then I just discovered this girl yesterday and I discovered this girl last week. I like blogs, and I like reading blogs, and I like writing blogs.

13. Just about the only thing that I know of that I don't like to eat is olives. I'm not a big fan of sushi, but I can eat it. I probably don't like anchovies- I've never tried them. For the most part I like everything else IN THE WORLD there is to eat. I know you guys can come up with some weird stuff that I've never had- pickled pigs' feet and chitterlings and whatnot. But for the most part, I like pretty much anything. For example, I like fried chicken livers. Yep, I said it. When I was a kid I ate an entire jar of sliced dill pickles, which I promptly threw up. I also have always loved A-1 sauce. LOVE IT. When I was young I would pour myself some A-1and THEN try and find something to dip into it.

14. My parents divorced when I was 14 and I was SO RELIEVED because they fought all the time and it was awful and tense and I knew things would get better once they didn't try to be married people any more. Then after my dad moved out, we suddenly spent more time together. He took me out to eat almost every weekend. We still weren't best friends, but it was certainly more time than we ever spent together before. Then my mom and dad remarried each other when I was about 21, and I got really excited because I thought we would be like a regular family, that we'd all be able to spend time with each other and eat dinner together and that kind of thing. Alas, it didn't happen; they were unhappy and re divorced about a year later. Now I never see my dad. He doesn't call and invite me to do anything and I don't call and invite him to do anything.

15. My sister India is really my half-sister; we have different fathers. But when I was born and all through growing up she lived with us and we always just thought of each other as sisters, still do. We just can't seem to see eye-to-eye on things, so we don't get along very well now. But we were pretty close up until about 14 or 15 years ago.

16. My mom is one of my best friends. She irritates the living shit out of me sometimes, but I figure that's probably payback for how much I irritated her when I was growing up. One time I stood next to her and said, "Can I? Can I? Can I?" over and over until she stood up and thrashed me with a newspaper. I think she's entitled to irritate me a little bit. In spite of our mutual irritation we still are best friends, I think. When I am mad or sad or happy, she's one of the first people I call to tell about it.

17. Jason is impossibly cool and so nice and is the best man I've ever known. That's why I'm so sure he'll leave me eventually: there is no possible way that I am cool enough to hold onto this guy. I am dorky and crazy and crotchety and irritable and obsessive about cleanliness. Jason, on the other hand, is laid back and well-meaning and smart and knows tons about music and movies and history and deserving of a nice lady. Unfortunately I'm not sure that I'm a nice lady. I'm nicer than his ex is though, so I guess he's moving closer to the mark. I hope maybe something has happened to his brain that causes him to think that I'm that right one for him, because I don't ever want to be without him.

18. I cannot stand when people mispronounce words. "Nucular" is the worst one, which started when Josh pointed out that Steve said it the wrong way, and then we got a president who said it the wrong way and it's all I could hear, every time he spoke. IT IS NOT "NUCULAR", IT IS "NUCLEAR". It is not "real-IH-tor", it is "real-tor"- no "ih", it is a 2-syllable word, not 3. I could go on for days. When people say "pitcher" for "picture", I throw up in my mouth a little bit.

19. I am terrible at talking to people. With my friends or family I'm usually fine, but at work or in restaurants or stores or on the phone I am TERRIBLE. I lose my train of thought, I get sweaty and nervous, I misunderstand the other person, I can't think of what to say, I make stuff up to try and get out of the situation faster, and I almost always come away from it loathing myself and feeling like I'm going to puke.

20. I believe very deeply in God and Jesus, but I don't go to church hardly ever and I don't quote the Bible. I feel strongly that Jesus loves us and he WANTS to love us and that people make mistakes and that if everyone who said "fuck" or smoked a cigarette went to hell, then hell must be like the Galleria at Christmas (crowded as fuck). I think that Jesus just wants us to try to be good people and that the effort alone means something and God is by definition smarter than us and He doesn't expect us to be as smart as he is, because that wouldn't really be fair, would it? To me the whole point is that Jesus loves me and will forgive me and just wants good things for me and wants me to strive towards those good things to make them happen for myself because you can't just dick around and wait for somebody else to make good things happen for you, and that folks should spread joy around as much as they can because not everyone can find joy by themselves.

21. I love to laugh and I love to make people laugh and I love to laugh with other people, at myself and/or all by myself. That's why I love to read Dooce and Sarah and McSweeney's: their stuff makes me laugh out loud. If this doesn't make you laugh, you are a robot (Chris, you don't count).

22. Reed likes the Vandals, the B-52s, Empire Records, the Office, and Mexican food. My work here is done.

23. 25 things is a fucking lot of things. It took me two days to write this.

24. I have never been good at standing up for myself, at letting people know when they're hurting my feelings or making me mad or sad or taking advantage of me. It is something that I'm working on this year and I am already managing to open my mouth more frequently.

25. Jason started uttering the phrase "That's what she said" several months ago at the appropriate (inappropriate) moments ("I can't fit this into the box." "That's what she said."). As a result, I now say it in my head any time anybody says anything remotely deserving of "That's what she said." My boss said, "No, I don't like nuts in my stuff" last week. FOR FUCK'SAKES. That's what she said.

Six weeks until Costa Rica. Bitches.

Now for movies and crap.

And if you don't know, now ya know.

Happy day, Martin Luther King, Jr.

This weekend was a really good one. It's not frequent that I have the urge to write, hey, things were good, so I felt like I ought to write it seeing as how I thought it. Mexican Train, rap music, and homemade pizza with some of my favorite people- good times.

I'm about to make a whole mess of new jewelry; I'm just waiting on a few slow arrivals, some new supplies, to get started. My Etsy is somewhere around a year old now. Considering the during the first ten months I made something like 8 sales, and then in the last two months I've made something like 14 more, I'd say things are looking up.

I'm about to get in touch with George at Speakeasy and talk to him about having another show like last year's. I'm hoping he'll be cool with it. We had such a great time and sold so much stuff.

It's all quiet on the shithead front right now. If I was stupid enough to think that meant that things were calming down, getting better, I might feel good about it. But I've lived this life long enough to know that it just means there's some scheming going on, and it makes me nervous.

I poop frequently these days.

HA! Snuck it in there on you. I haven't talked about my bowel movements in a while. Gotcha.

Reed has been using the potty most of the time. Once a couple of weeks ago he even went to the potty, used a chair to turn the light on, pooped, and came back and laid down on the futon at bedtime without even telling me about it. I discovered the poop in the potty and asked him and he was like, "Yeah." Like, "Of course I pooped in the potty, Philistine, where else would I have pooped?" I think all we have left to work on is peeing in the middle of the night. It must be hard to train your body not to pee in the night when it's so used to doing so. But we'll get there.

Well, I guess we also have to work on standing up and peeing instead of sitting down, because I have to tell you, more than once in the past couple of days we've had a pee arc that manages to soak everything in the room- Reed's clothes, the bathmat, anything in a three foot radius of the toilet. The child produces a lot of urine, just like his mama.

Finally if you haven't looked yet, you should check out Daily Doo and Talkies Are Dumb.

Spreading it thin.

And now I'm writing a movie blog. It shall be one part critique and three parts ass.

Tada!

So my mom is a genius who says things like, "But can't you just make some of your blog private, and still leave some of it for people to see?"

GENIUS.

So now I'm back. I hope all you people are still looking- Thom! Hey, buddy! Birdie! Jerkface, how I have missed you. Seriously, I got my ways of knowing who is looking at this blog, and there are people ALL OVER who look at it on a daily basis, people from several of my former employers, and that just interests the shit out of me. I have honestly been really sad all this time that all these people are taking the time to read my whining and then I had to go and take it all away. So I'm back. I am just limited in what I will and will not write about. So we'll see how this all goes.

I just want to say for the hundredth time that I love you guys. I hope y'all are still looking, and haven't given up on me yet.

Some new reading..

I've mentioned plenty of times before that I read Dooce.

I've found a couple of new blogs that I enjoy. One is Whoopee! Absolutely hilarious. Makes me want to be British.

Then there is Fuck You, Penguin, which Jason can't stop talking about. He literally spent twenty minutes trying to find it last night and, when I finally found it for him, he collapsed into giggles for the next twenty minutes on the couch.

I'm okay for the moment. I've had some very serious distraction in the past few days.

I've locked my blog so that only invited readers can see it. I hope to eventually change it back to being public, because I don't like the idear of have to hide my thoughts, feelings, and experiences, no matter what they are.

Posting will be light for a while until we get a few things worked out. Really I have too much that I want to say, and I'd rather say nothing at all than to be all, "Well, it's sunny today. I bought some lemons." while I'm screaming in my head about everything that's happening.

We're all okay, and I'm hoping that some things are about to get better and work themselves out that will make us even more okay. I'll tell you about it eventually.

I love you guys.