Tuesday, February 05, 2008

Clorox wipes- check. Vitamin C- check. Large bottle of vodka- check.

It really only gets better and better around here. I'm entering a time of year at my job, a period of a couple of weeks in which everyone I work with goes totally bonkers, stiff with dread. I've gotten a lot of advice over the past few days since this is my first time to attempt to traverse the insanity at this establishment during the Valentine's day season. I've been told to eat my Wheaties, take my vitamins, bring snacks, pack a flask, duck and cover- the list goes on and on. We've been givin several sheets of typed instructions, flat and black, ominous on the paper, on what to ask and inform every single person we talk to on the phone.

Given the seriousness, the absolute terror this season inspires, my boss rather matter-of-factly told me that regarding my children I need to make sure I "make other arrangements" for the next couple of weeks. She was referring to the fact that any time one of them is sick, I call in to work and stay home with them. If Jason is off work, he stays with them, and sometimes my mom stays home from work with them, but usually it is I. I don't ever expect to find a job where they tell me "you know it's really fine for you to call in any time you want to", but I also really don't know what other options we have when it comes to sick children. I mean, Kane is almost 12, so pretty soon he'll be old enough to stay home alone. But Jude is 8 and Reed is 2; they just might still need some supervision.

Nonetheless, I've been told to make other arrangements. OH BUT GUESS WHAT? Jason, Kane, and Jude all have the flu! The absolute motherfucking influenza! It's great news, right? Now yesterday I went all over the house Clorox-wiping in hopes that Reed, Jason, and I might not catch what Kane and Jude have; Jason came down with it, Reed appears to be okay, and I've been nauseated, nasally, hot-eyed, and slightly sore-throated all day. The only good news is that I've been feeling mildly like this for about a week-and-a-half now, so maybe it won't go any further than this.

In other news, I chose all of this. I totally forgot that I ordered postpartum depression off of eBay for $17.34 plus shipping. Damn! I missed the 7 day return period, too, as I purchased it in December 2005. Stupid, stupid me.


shmephanie said...

boo.. hope you and your clan get to feeling better soon. Would you like me to bring over some nice, cold Clamato?

kristi said...

Seriously, man...I bet you could stay with MY mom.

Maybe you could get some masks a la the SARS scare of '04. I am so not kidding. If you want to hide out or if you need me to help you, i.e. blow off school and keep Reed or Jude or Kane or JASON, let me know. I've got a mask handy. Good luck, man! Tell Jason, Kane and Jude to get well soon. How long does the flu last?

some jerk said...

Lasts somewhere between 1-2 weeks

Thom said...

FYI mouth covering masks are not very effective at keeping germs out as they are at stopping them from spreading from the infected. Many Asian cultures have none this for years and use it effectively.

Also, things might be down for you, but you are sounding more chipper. Keep that chin up.

Anonymous said...

Well, then get Jason, Kane and Jude a mask. I am seriously worried.