Today I bring you quotes from this article on Wikipedia.
I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.
If at first you don't succeed try, try again. Then quit. There's no use in being a damn fool about it.
When asked, late in life, if he believed that there was intelligent life on other planets, he remarked: "There better be, there's none on this one!"
When the Japanese struck Pearl Harbor, Fields brought a hand truck to a liquor store and bought 6 cases of gin. When a friend saw him returning, he asked why he bought 6 cases. Fields replied. "I think it's going to be a short war."
A man's got to believe in something. I believe I’ll have another drink.
Upon being asked "Do you like children?", he once replied: "I do if they're properly cooked."
Marriage is better than leprosy, because it's easier to get rid of.