Tuesday, April 07, 2009

His rap name was Crazy D.

So, last night I dug out my journals from junior high and high school and read them.

BAD IDEA. Man, I was melodramatic as hell. And kind of a slut. A slutty, melodramatic bastard. There was also a short story about a fairy and poem about a twinkle- the title is What Is a Twinkle?

Dude, I thought I might submit to Cringe, or at least post some stuff here, but no way man. There is stuff in there that CLEARLY I have blocked out of my memory for a reason. When I got to the part where I wrote, "So I cheated on [redacted] yesterday with a boy named either Jon or Jay" (hey, mom!) I was like, "Okay, it's time to put these away."

Keep in mind by "cheated" I was talking about kissing, I was still a virgin at that point (BUT PROBABLY NOT BY CHOICE) but does that make it any better? DOES IT? And before you give me shit for not including his name in there, let me just say that with everything else I have going on I do NOT need to be screening phone calls from angry junior high boyfriends, boyfriends who had "rap names" and were in "gangs".

I'm pretty sure I'm going to burn them tonight in sacrifice to the god of cool because EVIDENTLY he must have thrown me a bone at some point, I don't know how any of you ever put up with me back then if the shit that came out of my mouth was remotely like the shit I was writing in my journals. I mean, I am well aware that I am not some kind of bastion of radness now, but I promise you I am cooler than a person who falls in love with a boy because he says "Damn, you got a big ass for a sixth grader!"


Anonymous said...

Oh--hilarious!! I threw away a bunch of my stuff like that and "people" (I think you were included) were like, "Don't do it blahblahblah." But I hope you'll let me see some before you burn it, Ms. Whitson.


Ramey Channell said...

Uhhh, your Mom, here, lived through the entire "these are the days of our lives" melodrama. Do you think I just ended up crazy for no reason?