An approximation of a tense scene in True Blood:
"I am not human. I am vampire. A lighter: you have one?"
"Non. But I do have this fireplace bread toaster. Let me show you it."
"Also, a Fresca. FUCK YOU! Holy shit. Are you high?"
"No. Well, yes."
*kiss kiss slurp slurp hump hump SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM*
"Are yawl tawkin' about SLAYVES? I KNOW YAWL AREN'T TAWKIN' 'BOUT NO SLAYVES!"
"What a whore what a whore what a whore scary vampires..."
"I can hear yawl! I can hear those thawts yawl hayuv! Yawl are awl hillbillehs! Gawd! Awl sex up a vampuhr any time Ah feel lahk eet!" *stomp stomp stomp* "Let me put awn my Renaissance Faire dress and run through a feeyeld."
*zip sweat sweat slurp slurp hump zip*
"Aw, Chrahst, yawl, Ah'm in luv with a vampuhr! Whut? That's MAH shit! You git outta mah house!"
"Whut thuh fuck ever- I do what Ah wawnt! Watch whawl Ah geek out and fuck sum bitches!"
Aaaaaaaand scene. Thank you.
Sadly, I still like this show.