So today was Reed's very first day at daycare. TODAY WAS THE DAY I LEFT MY SON WITH PEOPLE I HAD SPENT ABOUT THIRTY MINUTES IN MY WHOLE LIFE WITH. Needless to say, I was a little high-strung.
When we took him in, the other kids were eating breakfast. His teacher put Reed in a highchair to let him have some; when she gave him the bowl of waffles and sausage, he looked at her like she was crazy and pushed the bowl away. Then he looked at us like, "Um, NO." We started saying "bye-bye" and waving at him and he totally didn't cry. He just looked at me like, "You are abandoning me now, you heartless wench, and I will never forgive you." I heard it in my head, so it's pointless to try and convince me that he didn't say it to me in my head.
When we picked him up his teacher said that he cried some after we left once he realized that we were gone, which made me feel like I might throw up right there on the spot. She showed us the cloud he made out of blue construction paper and cotton balls, and I felt a little better.
All in all, it's the only choice we have, so we're going with it, but THIS MIGHT BE THE THING THAT FINALLY DOES ME IN. The women's rights movement gave us so many choices that we wouldn't have had without it, but because the cost of living has risen so drastically in comparison with average wages a lot of us have one fewer choice than our parents and our parents' parents had.
I'll get over it eventually, but not too soon so really don't go expecting me to be all NORMAL any time in the near future. Normal is just not my thing.