Monday, April 16, 2007
My Shu Shu.
Well, our Shu Shu kitty got run over tonight and died. She was a really good kitty.
Then I watched The Color Purple, so I'm in a pretty sorry state right now.
Shu Shu was a really good kitty. She liked sitting on Jason's shoulders. She really loved Reed. She refused to eat table scraps of any kind, or wet cat food. She shit on Kane and Jude's bed a couple of times when we still lived in our apartments.
Tonight, right after she got hit, I was trying to get Reed ready for bed whilst weeping loudly, and he suddenly started saying "Shu Shu! Shuuuu Shuuuu!" I really almost threw up, and I wept a little louder.
So now I don't know who Ida's going to play with. I don't know what to say to Reed when he starts saying her name. And I can't quite wipe the image of her little dead eyes from my mind, the last image I saw of Shu Shu, right after the girl knocked on our door and said, "Do you guys have a cat?" And I just can't stop thinking how her bowl was empty, how she might have been hungry. And how she slept with us last night for the first time in a long time.
I KNOW THAT THIS IS SO VERY DRAMATIC. I'm just not good at this stuff. I can't deal, okay? Cut me some slack. Slack is not something that we get over here very often, with all the plumbing issues and car wrecks and the getting fired and old friends dying and the throwing up and snotting and bills in collections and the whole NOT BEING ABLE TO DEAL stuff. Really, I'm working on it. I'm trying to remind myself that this stuff happens and in my life time a lot of kitties have gotten run over or died or been given away, and I did a good thing by telling that tearful girl that it was okay, that I knew it wasn't her fault.
But my kitty is dead and she's buried in the back yard and I'm just really not cut out for this stuff.